Suppose you have a distant romance; Then the question arises: what do I do falling in love with someone who lives 15 hours away by plane, 9,858 km away, 8 time zones apart? Things that happen, but beware, not to just anyone or by chance: long-distance relationships are not for everyone.

What about?

Technology. Without a doubt, it is the resource that allows us to get closer. The risk? That it becomes an absolute dependence and we are 24/7 pending to be connected, to believe that, to sustain the relationship, the messages must be continuous, without measure or schedules. And suddenly, the other is not there, does not answer, disconnects, and the ghosts appear: “He must have someone else there,” “he no longer likes me so much,” “he is online, and he does not speak to me” … If he is ‘online,’ if he pinned you the check, if he did not look at your status, if he wrote you in capital letters, none indicates that the other person is with another person. For this reason, technology in a distance partner is everything, as long as it is used in favor. Summary: not so much “marathon talk” and more quality dialogue.

What drives away?

Lack of physical contact. “You cannot live on love,” and it is as-is. Although cute words are the order of the day in this type of bond, nothing can replace a bear hug and a caress marathon with a happy ending. Of course, there are virtual methods, applications, and dinners in today’s globalized world by a video call from two opposite points of the planet, cybersex, but is it enough? I leave it up to you. Being positive, we can rely on the opportunity that occurs in a long-distance relationship: attraction + obstacle = passion fire. How would this be? The simple rule of three: the more remote and inaccessible, the more desires. Pure mathematics.

The lack of daily life. There are fiery reunions, OK, but nobody warned you of the goodbyes to seas of tears. She gets sick, and who comes to make tea? They invite you to a wedding and who are you going with? Is everything so rosy, or do gaps appear in the newspaper that begins to make noise?

Key Questions

  1. ‘Where am I?’ Will I be the one who receives or the one who leaves everything?

One of the two gives up his environment, feels that he is making a sacrifice, and the other will have to take charge of supporting the one who leaves everything. This is one of the most difficult situations.

  1. ‘How does this happen?’

When you are in a relationship, if you want to prolong it, you have to know what the goal is and what means and resources you have to carry it out. Again, it is different from being on the side of those who leave than those who receive. It is not that simple because, in each case, there would be a different scenario. The important thing is to plan how this would happen.

  1. ‘Am I willing?’

Trying to identify with the future situation means moving in the imagination and perceiving how one feels with the change of life. It is one thing if the move is determined by causes unrelated to the relationship (work, health, quality of life, etc.). Another thing is that it occurs exclusively by the couple. They are two very different things.

  1. ‘How do I see myself living in another place?’

Not just thinking about the relationship, but the whole context. Change of customs, environment … and the family, friends, and other relationships that one has could suffer and a lot. If you are in the recipient’s place, one would have to take care of replacing almost everything that the other left. If you decide to go live where your love is, it is good to understand that you are going as a creditor and that, perhaps, you find yourself claiming things that the other cannot give.


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